Christmas is a time of celebration and, as such, features many celebrations, with friends and family. For someone with an eating disorder, such celebrations pose enormous challenges, since celebrations usually involve food and shared eating.
Losing control over one’s eating, whether a person is restricting or bingeing, is a shared factor in eating disorders. The surplus of food, tempting treats, and prolonged family meals mean that the opportunity to lose control is higher than usual.
What you can do for yourself
1. Don’t let the fear of Christmas eating dictate the days and weeks before it.
This means eating ‘normally’ rather than trying to restrict beforehand.
2. Christmas doesn’t have to change your eating plan.
Eat regularly and with the same portion size. You can swap a Christmas treat for something you currently treat yourself to and, if you eat differently or feel full, give yourself permission to accept that it’s a different time and that it’s ok to therefore eat and feel differently.
3. See Christmas as an opportunity to be flexible.
Eating disorders tend to follow rigid rules. These rules create a sense of safety from a psychological perspective but, in reality, are not dangerous. See Christmas as an opportunity to be flexible, give yourself a range of options rather than one, and keep the aim of making Christmas Day as enjoyable as possible at the forefront of what you do.
4. Share concerns you have with a responsible adult in your life and ask them to help support you on the day.
This might include helping you manage your anxiety by going on a short, planned walk with you or watching your favourite movie with you to help distract you.
5. It’s ok to have some control over what is being prepared on the day.
This might include knowing what’s on the menu and deciding in advance what you are going to eat, who will serve you, and what you can do if it all gets too much. If you are worried about bingeing, ensure there is no easy access to leftovers and have some distractor tasks to help you overcome the urge.
6. Make a plan of where to sit and what to say.
Decide who you will sit next to at the dining table and prepare some statements in advance in terms of comments people might make. For example, where you sit, portion size, whether you have a dessert or not etc. Ask a family member to help deflect any difficult responses.
7. Try and manage eating patterns.
For example, slow eating on the day or keeping up with the others as best you can.
8. Watch out for substituting drink for food.
Christmas is not just about what you eat but also about what you drink and what you wear. Regulate the amount of alcohol you have as much as is possible.
9. Try and avoid overthinking what you will wear.
Figuring out your style when your perception of yourself is distorted is not easy because everything you wear will have its challenges. Manage the self-critic and the perfectionist in you, rather than focusing and despairing over what to wear. This means counterbalancing every negative comment with a positive one, including listening to compliments. Remember: the problem will lie not in the clothes but in the way you think about yourself in them.
What you can do for a friend or family member
1. Plan in advance.
Be aware that Christmas is a stressful time and have some conversations in advance about what might help. This might include what you plan to make on the day.
2. Consider the formalities.
Formality around eating is harder for people with eating disorders since they feel observed or very anxious. Things that can help is to have a ‘serve yourself’, buffet style arrangement or, if that’s difficult, then agree beforehand on who will plate up and how to handle portions that are too small/large.
3. Have activities to distract.
Arrange to have a range of activities to focus on rather than the meal being the main focus.
4. Have a plan for after the meal.
Be aware of anxiety after eating and arrange an enjoyable activity for them or chat about unrelated topics.
5. Be active in managing difficult comments.
Help deflect or manage difficult comments from others about your friend / family member’s eating style or weight.
6. Provide support on the day.
Be available to support by going for a shared walk, watching a movie on the day.
7. Be mindful of your own talk around food.
Don’t discuss or display your own or other’s food fads or challenges, especially if they are dieting. This can be very distressing and triggering.
8. Keep in mind that Christmas is just one day (or just a few).
Recovering from an eating disorder takes time and practice. Be supportive and positive, they will get there, one small step at a time.
Managing low self-worth and body dissatisfaction leading to eating difficulties
‘To hit a target of worth takes practice and courage. Believe you can do it, keep trying and you will get there.’
Worth Warrior is a free app created for young people to manage negative body image, low self-worth, and related early-stage eating difficulties or disorders. It provides a range of helpful activities and information, based on the notion that eating and body-related issues can be helped through learning to challenge and change thoughts, emotions, behaviours and body image issues underlying low self-worth.
By identifying these underlying factors, and monitoring them over time, you can also start to identify what your triggers and maintaining factors are and work towards making positive change.
The Worth Warrior app, recommended for ages 12 and above, has been developed for teenage mental health charity stem4 by Clinical Psychologist Dr. Nihara Krause, in collaboration with young people, and uses principles of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy for Eating Disorders (CBT-E).
The Worth Warrior app is private, anonymous, and safe. Please note the app is an aid in treatment but does not replace it.
Download the app for free on the App Store and Google Play.
