Addiction

For friends

Friends are often the first to notice or to know that someone is struggling with a problem. A person who is worried about their changes in moods, thoughts or behaviours will often confide in a friend. A friend may, therefore, act as a support in helping someone confront the issue.

Watch out for your friends

Talk to them

Encourage them to approach someone who can help…
this could be a teacher, parent, school nurse or student mentor.

You may…

Worry about asking your friend if there is a problem in case it affects the friendship
Worry that you are overreacting or hope that it is a ‘passing phase’
Feel hurt or angry that your friend is behaving in this way
Feel ‘left out’ due to the secrecy of the condition (the condition can often be a ‘competitor’)
Not know if you’ve got it right or how best to act in the circumstances
Feel insecure about the concerns it raises about yourself, whether it’s about you as a friend or about how you feel about yourself
Feel bad at going to social occasions on your own when it used to be the two of you

Identification facts

Your friend may be quiet, sad and withdrawn most of the time when they weren’t like that before
Your friend may have a very negative outlook when they were pretty positive before
Your friend may look really tired because they have difficulty sleeping and say that they have lost their appetite
Your friend may have started to neglect themselves – for example, they may not care about how they look when they took a lot of trouble before, or they may carry out some risky behaviour which could harm them
Your friend may react to things really quickly and sensitively, for example, become tearful very easily or angry or irritated when they weren’t like that before

Four steps to help your friend

TALK

Talk to your friend – listen but don’t be judgmental

TELL

Tell your friend you are worried about them and encourage them to speak to someone responsible. This could be a teacher you can approach, a parent, a peer counsellor or a school counsellor
If your school has links with stem4, we will be working with your school to establish an identified person/people you can approach

OFFER

Offer to support him/her by: finding useful information about addiction (this website is a good starting point) and how to get help; accompanying them to see someone who can help (named peer counsellor at school, school nurse, school counsellor, sibling, parents, parents of another friend, GP, practice nurse)