Self-harm
Steps to change
It’s really important to manage self-harm early because it is a behaviour that can become habitual and increase in intensity. The good news is that there are lots of effective ways to make change.
Some myths about self-harm
“Self-harm is attention seeking”
“I can’t admit to self-harming, my friends will think I’m crazy”
“People who self-harm can stop easily if they want to”
“My parents will say it’s a teenage thing and that I will grow out of it”
“If I’m not wounding myself too much it’s no big deal”
“I can’t see a doctor, they will say I’m crazy”
“My parents will be disappointed in me”
“What’s the point? Nothing helps!”
Some truths about self-harm
“Self-harm is very private and personal. It is an expression of stress or distress and needs specialist attention”
“No one will think you are crazy. Most people will confirm they have experienced similar feelings, even if they haven’t carried out the action”
“Self-harm doesn’t only affect teenagers. It is a sign that is worthy of attention”
“It’s not necessarily the seriousness of the injury but the fact the injury is happening in the first place that’s important”
“Self-harm is a coping strategy to distress that is known to doctors and is treatable. Your doctor will not treat you as doing something crazy”
“There are lots of effective treatments for the causes of self-harm. Take steps to do something about it – there is a point!”
Four steps to change
- Keep yourself safe from self-harm because it affects your future. Stop, think, evaluate
Whether you have just started harming or have been for a while, try some of the techniques in our ACT section to make change.
Try and think about what your self-harm is expressing.
Listed below are some tips (please note these do not replace the assessment and intervention offered by a mental health specialist or your GP):
- If it’s COMFORTING see if you can do alternative comforting actions instead – for example, have a bath, cuddle someone or something, do something relaxing, listen to some music you like
- If it RELEASES FEELINGS, try some other outlets of feeling release instead – for example, talk to someone, exercise, write down how you feel, draw your emotion
- If it RELEASES TENSION, try another way to release tension instead – for example listen to some very loud music, run on the spot as fast as you can or rip some paper. PRACTICE for at least 5 minutes
- DISTRACT yourself from the temptation to self-harm. Do something – go for a walk, give yourself something difficult to do. Sit it out – the urge will pass
Try our free Calm Harm app which has a range of tasks to help you surf the urge to self-harm.
This clinician-developed app can be downloaded from the App Store or Google Play.
It can be password-protected and has a range of tasks you can do to help manage the urge to self-harm.
- Now you’ve made a difference, work on your strategy to maintain this over the long term. Remember you get to long term by doing one day at a time. No one gets it right immediately. Keep trying – you will get there either with your own inner strength or with the help of others. There is help available
Try it. Give yourself a seven day period to put all of this into action. If you have success, try another seven days. Build up to 30 days.
Visit our Further Advice page for details of other organisations that can help.
