Being at university is meant to be the best time in your life but for many first-year students, this is more myth than fact. Around 6 in every 100 university students (6.3%) (Whatuni, 2020) are reported to drop out, reaching its peak at the beginning of November each year (iNews, 2019). While financial struggles, choosing the wrong study course, loneliness, and missing friends and family are the most well-known causes, mental health difficulties are a growing contributing factor, particularly among young men. Meanwhile, toxic masculinity is stopping young men from seeking mental health support.

Although young women aged 18-21 are more likely to experience mental health difficulties, men are much less likely to seek help. Only 36% of referrals to NHS talking therapies are made for men, and in 2019 the suicide rate in men was the highest recorded since 2000.

Starting university is hard for so many reasons, not least because you’re having to adjust to a big change while being far away from your usual support network. When thrown into a completely new environment, with the combined pressures of studying and settling in, it’s natural to feel overwhelmed. As a result of these new, added stresses, many students may consider dropping out.

Talk It Through Before You Drop Out

When considering your longer-term options, a good place to start is to set up some time to talk to your tutor, the Student Welfare Team, and/or your parents about how you are feeling and why you are considering dropping out. Alternatively, you could also reach out to a former teacher from your school or college to discuss the struggles you are having. Many students find it’s easier to retain links and find some comfort from teachers who knew them well at school, rather than from a member of university staff who may not know them except by sight.

Whoever you decide to speak with, be sure to mention what you may have tried in terms of making change and find out what alternatives there may be. Some options you might not have considered include changing course, seeking financial (planning) help, having a break rather than leaving, or even taking a gap year.

While difficult flatmates, bad living accommodation, or financial pressures can be difficult problems to fix, a study carried out by stem4 in November 2021 found that one in three young men aged between 18 to 21 are experiencing mental health difficulties. These include stress (52%), anxiety (24%), depression or low mood (28%), eating disorders (13%), anger and behavioural issues (8%), and self-harm behaviours (5%).

Yet the majority (73%) of young men are unable or unwilling to access help. Over half (58%) say, “even if things got really bad,” they would not ask for help for a problem that was making them upset, anxious, or depressed. When asked what is stopping them, 33% report not having the courage, 38% “don’t want to make a fuss,” and 27% would feel weak or ashamed. A fifth (19%) are worried that people would laugh or think less of them, and 16% say they would “feel less masculine.” Meanwhile, 15% say they don’t know how to ask for help.

Spotting the Early Signs of Mental Health Difficulties

Some common indicators you can look out for include:

  • Disrupted sleep which is not due to any attributable causes such as clubbing
  • Mood changes, including being flat, withdrawn, negative, and uncharacteristically reckless
  • Withdrawal/Isolation from usual friendship activities
  • Increased alcohol and/or drug use

Evidenced Mental Health Apps That Help

While it is always best to seek advice and treatment from a mental health professional or your GP, stem4 have developed four evidenced-based and NHS-approved smartphone apps to help young people in the treatment of and recovery from their mental health difficulties. Over the past 24 months, stem4’s library of free apps has been downloaded and used by over a million young people as they look to overcome the urge to self-harm and manage symptoms of anxiety, low mood and depression.

  • Calm Harm helps young people or resist the urge to self-harm and is based on an evidence-based approach called Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) which is a form of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT).
  • Move Mood uses the evidence-based Behavioural Activation Therapy (BAT) treatment to help young people manage the behaviours associated with low mood and depression by setting goals in a number of areas and by building confidence and positivity.
  • Clear Fear helps young people manage the symptoms of anxiety, by uses a Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) framework to help change anxious thoughts and emotions, alter anxious behaviours and responses.
  • If you notice a friend is experiencing difficulties and want to know how to best support them Combined Minds is a free app to help families and friends provide mental health support. The app, developed stem4, uses a Strengths-Based Approach which focuses on the positive attributes of the person and builds on resourcefulness and resilience.

Breaking Down Barriers and Providing Mental Health Support to Friends

According to the stem4 survey, almost half (43%) of young men identify “pressure from peers to behave in a dominant masculine way” as having a negative impact on their mental health. Meanwhile, fear of shame or feeling ‘weak’ or worrying what friends may think of them deters many young men from seeking help for mental health problems.

Challenging the Belief That “It Is Not OK to Be Not OK”

The stigmatising beliefs that ‘seeking help is a weakness’ needs to be challenged just as much as we need increased and improved knowledge about / access to youth and male mental health services. Rather than mental health being perceived as something separate, the importance of positive mental health as one of a university’s core values in supporting independence and learning should be embedded into a university’s ethos, with easily accessible information being provided on how and when to access help and signposting that this should be done early. So, before you bite the bullet and drop out, make sure you’ve done what you can to try and make it work. Remember that you’re not the only one experiencing these emotions, so spread kindness where you can and reach out—you might help someone else too.

If you would like help in speaking out or any useful resources, check out stem4’s resources including our: