Pronouns: they / he
Learning to love yourself is a difficult process that each and every one of us has to go through as we grow up. However, experiencing homophobia and transphobia alongside all the usual difficulties in life can make that journey of loving yourself even harder. Although I have grown more comfortable in who I am, and have become more resilient towards discrimination over the years, coming to terms with my sexuality, and particularly my gender, has had a lasting impact on my mental health. The discriminatory opinions of others have a real effect on you and can cause deep feelings of self doubt, making you feel like you don’t deserve love like everyone else.
After coming to terms with my gender, I knew that getting gender affirming healthcare would help me further my journey to self-love, and improve my mental health. However, after hearing the experiences of my non-binary friends at Gender Identity Clinics, I found it difficult to even go through the process of being referred there. Being non-binary, in particular, can put you in a really difficult position. Since there isn’t as much knowledge and acceptance around our identities, we are often made to feel we have to somehow ‘prove’ our trans identity in order to be listened to. Trying to live out who we are is hard enough as it is without having to prove ourselves to anyone, or go through further barriers. It can all become overwhelming.
However difficult it may be though, I know I deserve help on my journey to transitioning and positive mental health, and I know I can get there. It’s the small things that mean so much to me and keep me going: I can’t wait to feel a t-shirt against my chest without a binder there for the first time, or step out of the shower and not avoid looking in the mirrors because I feel dysphoric. I will continue to fight for my right to love myself and to feel happy in who I am.
If I was to give anyone in my position advice, I would say that finding yourself a community, whether that’s on social media or real life, is a must. You’ll realise there’s hundreds of people like me who know exactly how you’re feeling and what you’re going through. Once you are surrounded by queer people, they’ll will never let you feel alone. Together, we can work against homophobia and transphobia, and experience the self-love and happiness we all deserve.
If you would like to write a blog featuring your experiences, please read our submission guidelines here, and get in touch via communications@stem4.org.uk.
