This year’s Mental Health Awareness Week is all about raising awareness of the impact of loneliness on our mental health, as well as the practical steps we can take to address it. While ‘feeling lonely’ and ‘being alone’ are often conflated, they are actually two different things.
What does it mean to feel lonely?
Loneliness is a feeling that tends to refer to when your need to be with others isn’t met—when you want to connect with someone but there is no-one to connect with.
What does it mean to be alone?
Being alone is a state of being and often a choice. It’s when you make a decision to not make contact with others for a reason that has meaning to you. For example, to journal your thoughts.
How to reach out and connect with those around you
When looking to reach out to people, it can be hard to know how to approach and interact with them. Whether you struggle to know what to talk about, or feel unsure of yourself talking to new people, here are some tips to help you connect with others:
- Talk to people you actually might enjoy the company of—commonality is a good connector. For example, do you know a school friend who is doing the same subject as you?
- Keep a few topics to hand should an awkward silence set in.
- Don’t try to ‘over impress’. Not many people expect to be entertained or have exceptional conversations.
- Go with the flow. Rather than trying to steer the conversation to have your say, listen and contribute to what is being discussed.
- Notice how you are in company. If you tend to dominate the conversation, make sure you pause and let the other person speak. You can also invite them to say something by saying something like, ‘I chat too much—tell me about your day.’
- Try not to gossip. It might feel like sharing some personal information about someone you both know might make the other person value you more because they feel included. But, more often than not, people feel uncomfortable about hearing gossip from someone they have just met.
- Don’t just talk about yourself. Ask questions about them. For example, ‘How was your day today?’ or ‘What’s your favourite subject/band/song/teacher?’
- Be authentic. That means being honest and not pretending.
Not sure how to meet people or who to connect with? Check out our post on how to start building your own community.
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