Results day is a personal experience for everyone—whether you did better, worse, or as you’d expected. Your situation may end up being very different from your friends, so planning how you will talk to friends about each other’s results can make an intense day a little easier.
How Do I Support a Friend Who Got Better or Worse Results Than I Did?
1. It’s okay to keep your results to yourself
If you are not happy sharing your results with your friends, you shouldn’t feel bad about keeping them to yourself. Give vague responses that your results were better than / not as good as expected, and let your friends know if you need some time.
2. Give yourself space
Delay talking to potentially insensitive friends until you feel you can provide a rehearsed response.
3. Avoid the ‘humblebrag’
Don’t have false modesty if you’ve done really well. Saying ‘I don’t know how I got all 9’s when I didn’t put in much effort’ or ‘I only did well because the exams were easy’ will only put down those who haven’t done well and make them feel worse.
4. Be mindful on social media
Think about the impact posting your results on social media might have on your friends who had a bad exam, and think carefully about the comments you make. As well, try not to let anger or jealousy spoil a friendship if your friends have done better than you. You might find it easier to take a step back from social media on results day.
5. Be there for an upset friend
If a friend hasn’t done so well, give them time to talk about how they feel, and listen. Try not to offer reassuring comments that neither of you quite believe, such as ‘It’s only an exam.’ Instead, ask if you can help with next steps. Brainstorm with them but don’t necessarily give advice.
6. Think about the person behind the results
Whatever their results, stay connected with your friend(s) and don’t fall into gossiping about who got what results. A lot can change very quickly after results day, so make an effort to keep in touch with your friends—they may need a friend, and so will you.
If you didn’t get the exam grades you were expecting and are having trouble talking about it, stem4 has some advice to help you tell people your exam results.
Getting results can be overwhelming, and if you feel you are struggling, please give yourself the support that you deserve.
Whether you’d like someone to talk to or just some information and guidance, head to our Further Advice page for a list of helplines and resources that you may find useful. Please note we are UK based so the information is for UK users.
We also recommend talking to your GP / mental health professional, or calling 111 or 999 in an emergency if in the UK. Please contact relevant emergency numbers if abroad.
